It’s 12:30am and I should really be asleep, but I just finished watching Thirteen Reasons Why on Netflix and sleep won’t be happening for me anytime soon. Not with the way I feel right now.

I’m sick.

My stomach hurts.

My heart. It’s twisted and knotted and punctured and more than a little bit broken.

My face. It’s wet.

The blanket covering me. It’s wet too.

And I know it was just a television show. And I know it was just a book. But to me, nothing is ever “just a book,” not when a book is as incredibly raw and real and powerful as this one. Have you read it? You should. Have you watched the show? You might consider it. It’s hard. It’s painful. It’s sickening and heartbreaking. But it makes you think. Then again, all the good books do. Apparently the good shows do too.

It makes you wonder about what we’re all doing. Every day. Unintentionally. Or maybe intentionally. Maybe it’s a little of both.

The name-calling. The gossip. The harmless little rumors we spread that maybe aren’t so harmless after all. The jokes we tell at other people’s expense. The comparisons. The dirty looks. The cattiness on social media. The tendency to hide behind passive aggressive statements. The competitiveness. The jealousy. The vitrol. The anger. The need for revenge. The banding together to hurt another person. The ignoring. The whispering. The shunning.

We’re all guilty of it. I am. You are. But who are we really hurting?

We’re hurting ourselves. We’re hurting our neighbors. We’re hurting our friends. We’re hurting people that we’re supposed to love. We’re hurting we’re hurting we’re hurting.

Maybe all this mean-spiritedness is fun for a moment. Maybe it makes us feel better about ourselves for a moment. Maybe it’s good for a laugh. Maybe it makes us feel united in our own little groups. Maybe it makes us feel important.

But can we all just stop?

Can we please just stop?

Can we please just look around? Focus on someone nearby. Study them. Ask ourselves how we can care for them. Ask ourselves how we can love them. Ask ourselves how we can make a difference in another person’s life. Everyone needs someone. Yet some have no one.

If we don’t care for one another now, what are we here for?

If we keep causing so much pain, what are we good for?

If we keep allowing ourselves to participate in hurting another soul, what do we stand for?

Just something to think about. I know I’ll be thinking about it for a while. Maybe you will too.

When it comes down to it, maybe that was the author’s point in the first place.

amy matayo signature