My Super-Sincere Thankful List

So I’ve noticed that everyone on Facebook is posting “thankful” messages every day in honor of Thanksgiving. For nineteen days now, I’ve read—with more than my fair share of guilt—heartwarming statuses ranging in topic from being thankful for kids to thankful for spouses to thankful for church to thankful for improved health.

Meanwhile, by comparison, here is a sample of my last few statuses:

1. Whatdayaknow…? Adam Levine looks good in red. #shocker #SNL
2. Passed Santa on his way to work at the mall. Stunned to find out that he sometimes drives a Taurus…
3. When you think your hair dryer is broken, before you yell, shake it, slam it on the counter, or consider cussing it out, first check to see if someone turned it on the “Cool” setting.
4. In my next life, I want to be a Bond Girl. Either that, or a box of Milk Duds.

So meaningful. So deep. So…thankful-ish.

Okay, not so much.

But I’m out to change that right now. Because right now I’m coming up with my own thankful list. Because I refuse to be shown up by my dozens of Facebook friends or left out in the thankfulness cold. Because it’s never too late to start searching the heart…to learn to appreciate the big and small things that make life worth living. That make each day worth getting out of bed. Worth looking forward to. Worth putting one foot in front of the other and trudging through the day…searching for the blessings all around us. And I, for one, believe that blessings can be found every day. If we just learn to look for them.

So in honor of Thanksgiving, and without further ado, here’s my list.

1. I’m thankful for my children. Usually when they’re with me, but sometimes also when they’re at school, unable to say “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom…” for at least seven hours straight. I love my kids. I love my name. I taught them to say my name. But I gotta admit, sometimes I question the wisdom of it.

2. I’m thankful for my husband, who gives me foot rubs. When I beg. And shake my feet in his face. And pout. And whine, which I’ve perfected to a brilliant level that I’m soooo proud of and have finally gotten just right after twenty years of practicing. It’s entirely too much work to get him to relent, but totally worth it. For me.

3. I’m thankful for Secret deodorant, because sometimes you just gotta be.

4. I’m thankful for Kleenex. And sometimes toilet paper. Occasionally, even my shirt sleeve. For whatever is handy to blow my nose during allergy season, which for me, seems to stretch about ten months, with parts of May, September, and January off. If I’m lucky.

5. I’m thankful for Benadryl, for its ability to dry me up and knock me out during said allergy season.

6. And in that vein, I’m thankful for Margaritas.

7. I’m thankful for wood floors, because they don’t show dirt. You can go months without cleaning them, and no one has to know. For this reason, I’m thinking of replacing all my floors with wood. And also my toilets.

8. I’m thankful for my local grocery store and their totally awesome donuts. Also, they make great rolls. And cakes, for those nights you just need something sweet. Like Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday….

9. I’m thankful for writing. Except not right now, because I’m in a total slump. Like, I can’t make myself come up with a measly four thousand words to finish this dang book I’m working on. I blame it on writer’s block. I blame it on a creative lull. I blame it on back to back to back episodes of The Voice on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights. And then I spend all other nights thinking about the shows. Or more accurately, Adam Levine.

10. I’m thankful for Maroon 5. But mostly their unfortunate-looking lead singer, whose name has somehow escaped me but if I remember right rhymes with Madame Latrine.

11. I’m thankful for sweatpants and slipper socks. So ugly, yet so comfortable. And the older I get, the more these qualities matter. As do wrinkle cream and a really good pair of wedgie-proof underwear.

12. I’m thankful for holidays—from school, from responsibilities, from showers. From hygiene. For the next five days, I’m not gonna worry about any of it.

13. I’m thankful for turkey, stuffing, rolls, pecan pie, chocolate pie…and broken bathroom scales. Which mine will be as soon as I take a hammer to it Friday morning. Unless I run over it with my car first. One never knows…

14. I’m thankful for wearing jeans to work. I’m gonna do it today, even though jeans-wearing is reserved for Fridays. But it’s Thanksgiving week, and I’m a rebel like that. Tomorrow, I may show up in my pj’s—sans shoes or make-up. This holiday happens only once a year, and I plan on making the most of it.

15. I’m thankful for Black Friday, which for some reason this year has turned into Black Thursday. I am not thankful for this. I am resentful. I am ticked. I am horrified by the way retailers are spitting in the face of our family togetherness. But in spite of that, I am totally getting an Xbox for my kid. Don’t blame me if you get an elbow to the face.

And finally, and most importantly…

16. I’m thankful to God, for loving me. For saving me. For putting up with my obnoxious personality. But I guess He gave it to me, so really this entire post is His fault… (kidding. sorta.)

I’m taking the rest of the week off, so I’ll see you next Monday.

Happy Thanksgiving!


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